Monday, December 19, 2011
7:00 AM
The Reasons Why You Will Never Undertand
You alway ask me why i scratch myself till i bleed. [i have rashes and when ever i'm under hot weather, near dust or have body contact to surrounding germs my face would turn red and i would start scratching.]
My mum keep saying that i don care for myself thats why my condition is getting worst and worst.Well, this is a message to her. It is not that i don care for myself its just that i feel that no matter what i do its unless. I have been facing this pronblem since birth now its been 14 years.
Do you know how i feel whenever my teacher or friensds ask :'' Why is your face/hands/leg red and its seems like it bleeding? '' i would i always say:'' Rashes. have its since birth.'' It may seem like i'm answering that way but to me i always sound like this:'' i'm a monster who have thin skin and would bleed or get red patches on my skin whenever i bath in hot water, got in contact with germs on the public trains, when i'm under the sun or when i scratch and itch on my body .''
I didn't want to be born this way and with you [MUM] shouting at me every night when you put the medince on my body saying that i don care for myself isn't helping. You said you are sad whenever you shout at me for this matter but to me. Your just vexing your anger on me cause you gave birth to me and i have conditions for you to take care of.
And lastly, MUM this is my body my life and unleast you have this stupid condition you will never understand what i feel and what i think about things. Have u never thought why i don like to take pictures with ppl thats because i don know when my rashes will come. When the picture is taken i will see myself with red patches on my face and feel tha:'' I'm a monster.''
I have to be in school where there normal people with no skin problems like me. Whenever i go out with them i would see their and think:'' It nice to have no worries for your face when you go out, no need wake up one hour earlier to check your face condition and no need to worry half way of the jounery that your face would turn red.''
Do you even know what i have being through i feel disgusted when i have to put the medince on my face infront of my friends, i feel unwanted when u scold me and when you GLARE at me when my face is red.I DIDN'T WANT TO BE BORNED THIS WAY!
~DREAMER~
.Heads up!!..Its My Say!...
